Pubic Enemy

I went to use the restroom today and received a sight that gave me the heebie jeebies: a stray pubic hair on the toilet seat.

Now, I know that not everyone uses a toilet seat cover, even when they are available (which they are not, unfortunately, in this building bathroom). I also know that we all cannot control the shedding of body hair, regardless of body parts or areas. But really: am I the only one who looks behind herself after relieving herself? You know, on the chance that there are sprinkles on the seat (when you have to "hover" due to no toilet seat covers and/or an urgent need to go) or to make sure that nothing happened to fall out of your pocket and into the toilet (in which case, I'd just take an "L" on said item)? Or maybe that one of my own stray pubic hairs fell out?

Pubic hair just brings to mind urban legends about catching herpes from toilet seats, or some other infection that modern medicine hasn't managed to cure yet. I have nightmares of going home and having the skin on my nether regions flake off, pus up, or otherwise give me lots of pain and suffering...all because I didn't take the time to lay down strips of toilet paper to make a makeshift seat cover (like my Grandma taught me, may she RIP). And you know what likes to hang out on pubic hairs? Pubic lice (better known as "crabs")! The last thing I need is for some hitchhiker to follow me home 'cause some nasty chick opened her legs to the wrong dude (or another female, depending on how she flowed. No pun intended.).

(hey...I used to work at Planned Parenthood clinics in the Washington, DC area. Oh, the things I could tell you...)

All I ask is for a little courtesy. If you sprinkle when you tinkle, be a sweetie and wipe the seatie. If your pubes have gone astray, wipe it off the seat and it'll be okay. That's all I'm saying.

I need to run to the store and get a can of Lysol.


Thanks for stopping by.