From the Commuter Files: The Art of the Bogart

Y'all, I know it's relatively early for a blog from me (especially on a weekday), but I had to get this off my chest.

This morning, I'm on the "Wait Bus", waiting for my bus to arrive.

(yes, this transit agency has passengers waiting on a bus--which is BEYOND bootleg--because the actual wait room/customer service center is still not finished...but that's a whole 'nother story)

Also on this bus is another regular, whom we'll call Jill*. Jill is...mentally challenged. Seriously. As in, she's documented as such, takes medication and is in a special work program due to her mental condition. All of the drivers know it, most of the passengers who encounter her on a regular basis know it. Her quirks are usually tolerated as a result. This morning, though, she went above and beyond her normal antics.

First off, Jill was having a morning snack while doing her usual See-A-Word puzzle. Once she finished her nosh, she put the trash on the seat in front of her...then had the nerve to call the transit agency guy who sells bus passes, etc. on the bus (I told y'all...BOOTLEG!) to put her trash in the trash can!
Mind you, the trash can was right in front of the seat upon which she put her trash...wouldn't have taken much of an effort for her to get up, move less than a foot to her left, and drop her trash in the trash can.

But that would be too much like right. I raised an eyebrow--especially when transit agency dude actually disposed of her trash as requested--and went back to my book.

Here's where Jill upped her game. There was a woman in the seat across from her, having her own morning snack of a granola bar. Jill asks in her trademark loud voice, "What are you eating?"

The woman looks at her strangely, but again: most folks know Jill's flow, so they just acknowledge and keep it moving. She replies, "It's a cereal bar."

Jill asks, "Can I hold it? Just for a minute?"

Now, I had to stop reading because I have NEVER seen nor heard of a person asking to view another person's food, especially while the other person was still eating it!

Again, the woman gave her a look but was probably a bit worried about what Jill might do if her request was denied, so she handed the granola bar over. Jill then looked at the woman and asked, "Do you want it?"

I was speechless, and so was the woman. Jill took advantage of the shock and said, "Thank you," and proceeded to eat the rest of the granola bar. And then PUT THE EMPTY WRAPPER ON THE SEAT IN FRONT OF HER, and asked transit agency guy to put it in the trash. Again. And he did it. Again.

My flabber was gasted.
My dumb was founded.
My as(s) was tonished.

I sat there in profound shock. This chick had the unmitigated gall to not only Bogart this other woman's breakfast, but to eat it like nothing was wrong!

Mentally challenged, my arse.

I looked at Jill in a whole new light after that. Having come from a family of women who take manipulation to another level, I have the sneaking suspicion that ain't nothing wrong with Jill. Sure, she may process information a bit more slowly than an average person, but she probably makes that work for her...as evidenced by behavior toward her this morning. Such behavior is probably par for the course for her. She has learned how to get what she wants, and people fall for it out of fear of being politically incorrect or that she would cause a big scene. Kinda like giving a screaming kid some candy or a toy to shut them up. Pavlov wrote books full of studies on this very phenomenon, and that's why experienced (and practical) parents tell new parents not to run to a baby every time he or she cries.

Stimulus and response...it's the American way.

Jill ain't slow. Jill is truly gangster. Act like you know.

Thanks for stopping by.


*Names changed to protect the shady.