Juvenile's Listening Party

I was invited by my friend Butta to the listening party for Juvenile's upcoming release, Reality Check. Hey...free food and libations? I'm widdit! Plus, the event was listed as being sponsored by Washington National Liquors, so I knew it was gonna be pure comedy.

Attending this event made me realize how short my fuse is, the older I get.

First off...I almost cursed out the security guard at the front desk. Now mind you, perhaps I wasn't speaking clearly enough or making my point clear, especially since the guard was not from this country. I simply asked him to call upstairs for Butta, as she is an employee of this company. He asked if I were there for the listening party. I answered in the affirmative. He sent me over to a woman who was handing out passes to get into the event. She, in turn, sent me back over to the guard. Again, I asked him to call Butta. He actually asked me if I had her work number!

Um...no...because she and I both WORK during the day and do not have phone marathons like we did in college. But I digress.

He pulls out the employee directory, seemingly under duress. By this time I had called Butta on her cell and told her that the guard wasn't trying to call her, and that I was in the lobby. She must have heard the tone in my voice that indicated there was about to be an international incident, as she came to the lobby post haste. She vouched for me (as she was wearing her employee badge) and the guard told me to sign in. Then, he had the nerve to snipe at me, saying, "You said you were here for the listening party."

Jesus keep me near the cross.

I snapped back that I told him I was here to see an employee who invited me to the listening party, but that he couldn't be bothered to look up her damn number. Butta calmly escorted me away from the guard's desk, picked up our passes, and we went to the event. Then she suggested that I get an adult beverage to calm my ass down.

I try not to show out in my friend's places of employment, but damn.

Okay...onto the listening party.

First off: the bar was late opening. The guy behind the bar was only serving sodas (after multiple requests for the hard stuff), saying that they had to get permission from whomever was in charge of the bar to start serving liquor.

WTF?!

Now, my nerves were already frayed, and a rum and Coke would have smoothed me out something lovely. So I did not need to hear that bullshit. Butta suggested that we check out the nibbles, and we did so. I think she was more afraid that I was going to kirk the eff out (as they say here in the DC urrea).

Wow...they had an eclectic spread! The requisite chicken wings; potato puffs; crab puffs; mini egg rolls; little pigs-in-blankets; rolls; potato salad; veggie and cheese platters. We got the business card of the caterer; should have known something was up when he listed the types of events that he catered and "Cabarets" were first on the list.

So we get our food and finally notice that the bar was open. OF course, this being a rap event, the Hen-dawg (that's Hennessy to those in the know) was in effect. Washington National Liquors pulled out the stops and had premium liquors up in there: Hennessy, Ciroc, 10 Cane Rum, Navan. And it was all FREE!! I was impressed. I get my rum and Coke and Butta and I sit to the side and nosh.

I get very talkative when I drink and my normal polite/civil veneer tends to erode. So I had commentary as the evening went on. Included in my sotto voce rantings were:

• The two broads in front of us who thought they were on a fashion shoot, and were wearing the camera out in the digital camera. The sad thing is, the one who kept posing had the nerve to wear a sheer white top and a FUSCHIA bra underneath. *shaking head* Just TACKY. And from the way she was posing, I suspected that she was trying to get down with Juvenile's camp in some way, maybe get in a video or something. Her aura gave me the vibe that she probably strips on weekends or something and thought she was the next Trina.
• The chick who wore these big, furry white boots. I was like, damn: someone killed the Coca-Cola polar bear!
• The young boys who were in the mix. I was like, did someone bus over a load of kids from Sursum Corda?
• The guy who had a video screen sewn into the back of his jacket...and it had sound. The feature was a Juvenile video. Another guy had a similar screen sewn into the back of a knapsack. He really stood out in my memory because he had a faux iced-out chain and was doing the Runing Man at one point. My flabber was so gasted. Just COLORED.
• One guy looked like a long lost member of the Boo-Yaa T.R.I.B.E. (If you were born after 1975, you don't know nothing 'bout that. LOL).
• Miss Kitty (a radio personality) is not cute. At all. She looked like Busta Douglas.
• Juvenile was still blinging, but he wouldn't flash the ice grill when I snapped a pic of him and Butta. Said one needed to crack a joke to get him to do that. Oh well...his iced-out shades and rings were enough.
• Oh, and I got a contact high from the weed smokers.

Juvenile, of course, gave commentary on every new cut that was played from Reality Check, including the song that straight jacked "Posse On Broadway" by Sir Mix-a-Lot (At least he admitted it up front. The young heads wouldn't remember that cut but Butta and I sho'nuff did...we jammed enough to it back in the day!). And one song had the lyrics "Wanna see you shake it like a dog." Mind you, Juvie made it a point to say that his mama loved that song.

Jesus wept.

He and Miss Kitty seemed perplexed that no one was dropping it like it was hot, but I guess they failed to understand that the listening party was not at a club, but at a place of business, and most folks stayed late to work to attend. Now, if he wanted to see some assets shaking, he should have had it at Avenue...he would have fit in lovely with their club clientele.

All in all, the evening was entertaining and I can play my complimentary Juvenile CD, and weep at the fact that there is a cut on there with Aretha Franklin. ARETHA FRANKLIN.

Have times gotten that hard, Re-Re? Well, at least she ain't on the pole. Yet.

T.

Bring Back The Days Pt. 3: Geno Young

The final installment of the music trifecta of the past week was Geno Young at Takoma Station. As I mentioned in part 2, he did a cameo in W. Ellington Felton's portion of the show at the Black Cat on Saturday night.

Y'all...this Dallas brother can SANG!

Dub Ell was the DJ and host for this event (Cotton Club Sundays). He did "Admit It" and an organic freestyle song that included the bassist from YaMama'Nym.

He did his song "Touch the Sky", which he performed at the Black Cat. He also sang songs from and promoted his album, Ghetto Symphony. He also sang a funny hook that alluded to some writing/arrangement credit issues with Jill Scott's song "Living My Life (Like It's Golden)". I hope he works that out; it may help that he stop talking about it in public, though.

Bilal Saleem sang background again (why are you surprised--he'd been in the mix all weekend LOL). And there was a guest appearance by the songstress Wanya. I'd heard of her, but never heard her sing. She riffed for maybe thirty seconds and made me a believer! You can hear snippets of her album Moments of Clarity. She'll be at the 9:30 club with Fertile Ground on Feb. 10. YEAH!!!

I now have CDs out the yang (independently done, but very nice quality. They don't look like the ones you buy on the street for $5) and met some positive brothers and sisters who are taking their musical artistry to the next level. It's truly inspiring and refreshing. Please take the time to visit their websites, listen, enjoy, and purchase.

T.

Bring Back The Days Pt. 2: W. Ellington Felton/Eric Roberson

Saturday night I took an impromptu journey to the Black Cat Club to hear W. Ellington Felton (Dub Ell to those in the know) and Eric Roberson. I 'm a fan of Dub Ell, but had never heard of Eric Roberson, so I decided to roll.

Oh...my...Gawd...Becky!

First off, let me say how I enjoyed the positive atmosphere of the Black Cat (well, where I was, anyway LOL). Not much smoke, people were chill, Buppies were posted up next to Afro-sporting/dreadlock-wearing/natural-hair-having BoHos. Dashikis next to Donna Karan. FUBU next to Fossil. And the bar actually served Reed's Ginger Beer! I'm a fan for life.

Now onto the show...which was treat upon treat!

Dub Ell opened and did a great job! He was showcasing cuts from his current album, Postcards from the Edge. My favorite cuts were "Admit It" and "Postcards From The Edge". There were surprise cameos by Raheem Devaughn (who apparently was late and was called out by Dub Ell about that. Hilarious.) and Eric Roberson, tboth of whom did a duet with Dub, then Dub Ell showcased one of his background singers, Bilal Saleem (who has an album coming out soon). Geno Young was in town for his Sunday night performance (he'll be in part three of my musings), and sang his song "Touch the Sky".

Dub Ell's band was actually a local DC act called YaMama'Nym. The bass player was LIKE THAT, JOE (as they say in DC parlance)!

Oh, and Dub Ell will be having his album listening party/official release on Jan. 31 at Mirrors (33 New York Avenue, DC). $7 with flyer, $10 without.


*We now return you to your regularly scheduled blog entry, already in progress*



There was a break, then Eric Roberson came on to perform.

What can I say...I was in shock and awe...that man can not only sing, but he can PERFORM! He connects with the audience and makes it an experience. He sang cuts from his album The Appetizer and his latest album, The Vault 1.5.

I didn't realize that I'd heard him before until he sang one of my favorite songs of the evening, "The Moon", which WHUR used to keep in heavy rotation back in '94 (yes, I'm dating myself...that was my senior year in college).

I'll love you to the moon and down again
Around the world and back again
I'll love you to the sun and down again
Around the stars and back again
I'll love you to the moon and down again
Around the world and back again
There's no greater love than mine...

BTW: "The Moon" is on The Appetizer. COP IT!!

His spiel on how he used to try and pick up girls by singing his order at McDonald's was pure comedy. Then later on in the show, he flipped the script and rocked out for about 20 min. The diversity was wonderful! They jammed so hard, the drummer broke the kick drum. And the crowd was loving it! We were some headbanging fools...I know a couple of folks had to pop some Advil later on, or maybe give their necks a quick rubdown with Ben-Gay. :)

I will take this moment to say that Eric's band is TIGHTER than a new rubber band! My God...and the backbone is the keyboardist/guitarist, Curtis. He is not only talented, but sexy (those eyes...that beard...those arms and lips...)!! I will go on record as saying that he could get it twice a day and three times on Sunday. :) When he played guitar, I thought he was channeling Jimi Hendrix. I mean, he WENT THERE. And when he and Eric sang a song that had snippets of "Hey Ya" in it...man-o-manimal!!

Oh, and Bilal Saleem sang backup on some stuff, too. I love how these artists stick together and support each other.

If you have never seen either Dub Ell or Eric perform, then make sure you do if you ever get the chance! BTW: Eric will be performing with Raheem Devaughn at Zanzibar in DC on Feb. 12.

Next up: Geno Young at Takoma Station.

T.

Bring Back The Days Pt 1: Heather Headley

My soul must have been crying out for some TRUE music, because I have been reveling in pure artistry within the past week. These people have brought back the days when people could SANG (not just sing), and it was all about the first instrument and not about how many rap collaborations and sampling can fit on an album. I'm going to break it down into three parts. Wanna hear it? Here it go!



Heather Headley @ Avenue

Last Tuesday (Jan. 17), I went to see Heather Headley at Avenue Nightclub. She was promoting her upcoming album In My Mind, which hits stores Jan. 31 (please send up a prayer that Circuit City will have it for $7.99!).


Drama with the Avenue staff aside (please see Butta's blog for more detail), Heather ripped it! She sounds so much better live than on a CD, but that's those stage chops for you. She kicked off the show with "He Is" from her first album, then went into songs from her new album: "Losing You," "I Didn't Mean It" (which was an excellent song written by the R&B artist Ne-Yo), and two others. She also did covers of "Back to Life" by Soul II Soul; "Whip Appeal" by Babyface; and damn near brought the house down with "Superwoman" by Karyn White.

She ended the show with "In My Mind", the title track from her upcoming album. This song took her back to her chuuch (yes, "chuuch" LOL) roots. She was wailing like the Lord was waiting for her backstage. :)

Heather is a performer and she was one of those rare singers (like Lalah Hathaway) who came out without pretense or fanfare, and understood that people came to hear her sing, and that 's just what she did. She was dressed down in jeans, a sweater, boots, and her wedding ring BLINGING. Her microbraids were pulled back into a high chignon and her makeup was flawless and understated. And her smile...chile, she really needs to do endorsements for Crest Strips. I mean...simply beautiful!

Cop the album when it comes out.

Next up: W. Ellington Felton and Eric Roberson at The Black Cat.

Virtual (Un)Reality

I've had the most...interesting 48 hours, and it's all due to the Internet.

I am a member of a rather popular, DC-area message board. On this board are many club promoters who do events at popular watering holes in Washington, DC (I shall not name said watering holes because then said promoters would be instantly recognized. But I digress.).

Well...last Tuesday, at the Heather Headley listening event, I was invited to play pool on Saturday at one of these watering holes. I accepted the invite and asked to be put on the guest list. Later on that day, someone asked about the crowd at this particular spot. I commented that there were lots of chickenheads and drunkards there.

Man, what I say that for?

One would have thought I'd insulted someone's mother! I was called everything but a child of God by the promoters, including hypocritical (because I'd asked to be put on the guest list to mingle with such chickenheads and drunkards, and seemed to have had a good time at the watering holes I'd visited--and was always on the guest list).

Now...color me clueless, but that comment was applicable to any club in the DC metropolitan area...shoot, in the world! And I didn't see how my random comment would cut into their numbers, being that most people (especially those on that board) were club regulars and were going regardless of my two cents.

Later on that night I caught two of my favorite artists at the Black Cat club. I saw one of the bitch-like promoters but ignored him. One of the artists is also a member of this message board and after the show, inquired as to whether or not I was going by the watering hole. When I replied in the negative, he actually asked me if I was "scared" to go.

Ooh...the bullies were waiting in the yard after school for me...I was trembling. *rolling eyes*

Last night, I caught another favorite artist at Takoma Station and saw yet another board member (and the other venomous promoter, who obviously ignored me...I'd say that walking directly in front of me and even stepping over my feet, all without even saying "hello", qualifies as a deliberate ig. But I digress.). HE asked me why I wasn't on the board and hadnt' responded, and actually said that this whole thing was a "test" to see how thick-skinned I was.

What is this? School Daze II? Is Spike Lee in a corner somewhere, filming?

Um...I didn't pledge a sorority in college for that very reason. Why the hell would I willingly be "hazed" on the Internet? And how can you call yourself hazing someone on the Worldwide Web? Am I gonna get letters to wear? Can I rock a T-shirt with the message board's insignia on it? I think not.

The high-school mentality of many on that board (and yes, that tars me with the same brush since I'm a member of said board) has disintegrated to my being called "thin-skinned" and a "coward" because I didn't respond to the venomous comments by club promoters, and because I didn't come to that watering hole that night (after reading such nastiness, I emailed privately and asked to be removed from the list). This is just what I've been told; I haven't logged onto the board to read the libel personally.

To top it all off, the latest word on the street is that those board members who have met me in person are now talking behind my back about me because (get this) I wear certain articles of jewelry.

Then again, there is a constantly circulating rumor that I'm sleeping/have slept with another board member, since we've known each other for almost twenty years (since our [HA!] high school days). Go figure.

I must have fallen into a time machine and got transported back to HHS in the late '80s. Maybe I need to look in my closet and check for my varsity cheerleading uniform and SAT study manual. And I need to look in the mirror and see if my hair has reverted back to an asymmetric cut that was so popular back then.

Really...is it THAT DEEP? If I don't let you into my world on a consistent basis, don't hate because you're nose is perpetually pressed up against the glass (c) DJ Kool. And don't hate because my jewels are real. Get your own or, barring that, I'm accepting donations from Harry Winston if you don't like it. I prefer sapphires, but my birthstone is the diamond, so I can work with that as well. :) The Internet is full of weirdoes and anyone can pretend to be anybody. So why would I just up and claim you as an friend based on your posting style? I mean a true friend, a ride-or-die/I-got-your-bail-money friend.

I have a dollar in my pocket. Anyone from that board is welcome to come and get it, go down to the local CVS, and buy a clue. Oh, and disconnect the Hatorade drip from your veins.

Readers, let this serve as a warning. If you don't know, now you know: the Internet is a haven for those who have not/cannot/will not work out their issues (or at least come to a comfortable arrangement with their respective demons) in real life. Don't get caught up.

I learned my lesson and have walked away from that board. It's not a question of cowardice, but rather one of maturity. It is impossible to defeat an ignorant man (or woman) in an argument.

T.