Friday the 13th: Preview of Hairy Attractions

Today, I was running errands and saw some things that hurt my heart. As we get ever closer to the commercial pimpstrosity that is Valentine's Day, I have to implore my fellow women to do one simple thing that will make a world of difference.

Shave. Your. Face.

Seriously, y'all...I saw three (count 'em) women with mustaches to rival Adolf Hitler's and five o'clock shadows (at 11:30 in the morning). I tried not to stare, but I had to in order to determine if the shes were actually hes.

Now, I understand that some of us are genetically hairy (Nair has been a good friend since I hit puberty), and some of us have hormonal issues, but that is still no excuse to walk out of the house looking like a spinoff of the show Kyle XY that has gone horribly wrong. Even if you can't afford depilatory creams such as Nair and Neet, or the home wax kits, razors are relatively inexpensive. You can get a pack of ten store-brand ones for about $1.50 or less at everyday prices; or, you can save yourself 50 cents and pick the razors up at your local dollar store. You don't even need to buy shaving cream; soap makes a very effective skin enhancer for shaving (I mean, how do you think they shaved in the olden days? With SOAP! Ask any old-time barber who used a straight razor).

The point is: there is no excuse for any woman to leave the house looking like she needs a #2 guard (a certain attachment used on electric razors for closely shorn hair) used on her cheeks and jaws.

Have some pride, y'all. Valentine's Day isn't about loving someone else; it's about loving yourself too, which you should practice every day. Self-love means making sure you look good for YOU...which is the quickest path to finding love with someone else.

Love means never having to comb or brush your significant other's face.

Thanks for stopping by.